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    Best friends dating and breaking up

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    Was it love at first sight? I can say without a doubt that it was not. Soon after this, Dave was cast in a scene I was directing for one of my theatre courses. When I was there spending time with him, it was rarely just the two of us. My boyfriend and I, plus a score of other people were in and out constantly. Poor Nick barely got to enjoy the benefits of living alone because he almost always Best friends dating and breaking up people showing up to hang out. But after spending so much time together, it was suddenly very clear that he was the person that understood me more than almost anyone else.

    I knew I could count on him for anything, just as he could count on me. We could talk for hours, or we could sit in comfortable silence and just be. He was one of the few people I could spend endless hours with and not get sick of being around. I do want to stress that it was always extremely platonic. Like I mentioned before, I was seeing someone else. He was, however, a very present and constant friend to me throughout that time. Although I cannot pinpoint when he became my best friend, I can pinpoint when I started to realize that I wished he was more. It happened like this: My phone started buzzing, and I looked down to see that my boyfriend was calling.

    At that moment, a realization hit me like a ton of bricks: But that was crazy! My boyfriend was the guy I was supposed to be in love with!

    IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Dated My Best Friend and It Didn’t Destroy Our Relationship

    The guy I should be missing like crazy when he was out of town. I drove home that night deep in thought. Nick was such a close friend -- he was my confidant, my comedian, my texting buddy, my cook, my encourager, my advice-giver. He was my best friend. And then, for the first time, maybe he was something even deeper. Best friends dating and breaking up things finally ended with my boyfriend, I can honestly say it was not because I wanted to be with Nick. Yes, I had the beginnings of feelings for him, but I had no way of knowing if he was feeling the same way. In fact, based on our history, it was safe to assume he felt nothing more than our usual friendship.

    I knew how stupid it would be to end a relationship based on mere hopes that another one may sprout from its ashes. But expectations for modern relationships have evolved in the intervening years. We hold our relationships to higher standards than we have in previous decades. In particular, couples now expect their relationships to promote personal growth and help individuals fulfill their own goals.

    For example, your partner should help you become a better person by teaching you new things ane how to make the perfect creme brulee, taking you places like the cool new datinb park and opening your Best friends dating and breaking up to new perspectives such as the benefits of eating a more vegetarian-based diet. Although this expectation for growth could conceivably place an feiends burden on your relationship, researchers believe that modern relationships are up to the task. In fact, the idea driends a relationship can help an individual abd a better person, a phenomenon that researchers call self-expansionis a useful South african dating website relationships that provide more expansion are also of higher quality.

    In order to hit all these friendd targets, you datinv need more from a spouse datig romantic partner than was expected in years past — and a partner who is also your best friend may be a step in the right direction. Think of it this way: Are best-friend partners better partners? We wanted to see if these best-friend romances were really better. This finding is consistent with research showing that relationships with more companionate love — based on friendship, feelings of affection, comfort and shared interests — last longer and are more satisfying. Other research shows that those in friendship-based love relationships feel they have a highly likable partner, and that shared companionship is an important part of the love.

    A study of married individuals revealed that those with higher scores on the friendship-based love scale also reported more relationship satisfaction, greater perceived importance of the relationship, greater respect for their spouse, and felt closer to their spouse. More recently, across two studies with nearly participants in relationships, those who place more value on the friendship aspect of their relationship also report more commitment, more love and greater sexual gratification. In addition, valuing friendship also decreased the chances of the couple breaking up. Best-friend love is starting to sound better and better.

    All of these benefits are backed up by accounts from a special type of relationship expert: When researchers asked over of these couples about their secret to relationship success and longevity, what was the number one reason? The second most common response was liking their spouse as a person, another key facet of friendship-based love. Why you like someone as a friend may be what makes them a great romantic partner. Couple image via www.